Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler

Synopsis:
Anna has been in love with Matt since she was ten years old. Matt happens to be her best friend Frankie's older brother. The three of them grew up next door to each other and have been inseparable since they were young. Every year when Anna blows out the candles on her birthday cake she wishes that Matt will feel the same way about her. This birthday things changed between them. They spend the few weeks leading up to Matt's departure for college hiding their budding relationship from their families, especially Frankie. Anna wants to tell her but Matt convinces her to let him tell his sister during their annual summer vacation to Zanzibar Bay. Anna agrees and promises not to tell her before he can. When Matt tragically dies before he can tell Frankie, Anna has to decide if she should keep her promise to the love of her life or tell her best friend the only secret she's ever kept from her.

It's a year after Matt's death and Anna still has not told Frankie what had happened between her and Matt. Frankie's behavior is getting more out of control and Anna feels like she's losing her. She feels a constant need to look out for her friend the way Matt did. She wants to protect her from her own destructive behavior. When Anna is invited on the summer trip to Zanzibar Bay she decides this would be the perfect time to tell Frankie. Once the trip begins it becomes apparent that it may be harder to tell Frankie than she thought. Anna is dealing with her own feelings about Matt's death that Frankie does not understand since she does not know the nature of their relationship.

Frankie is constantly bragging about her love life and teasing Anna about her lack of one. Anna feels as though she would be betraying Matt by having feelings for another boy. In spite of this she makes a pact with Frankie that this will be the twenty boy summer. They begin their quest their first day in Zanzibar Bay and Anna soon learns that it is possible to have feelings for someone else even though it comes with a tremendous amount of guilt.

My Review:
(Spoiler Alert!)
This book was heart-breaking and beautiful. It was a story about a girl named Anna who had two best friends, Frankie and her brother Matt who Anna was secretly in love with. Anna and Matt finally revealed their feelings for each other on Anna’s 15th birthday. They kept their relationship a secret from everyone especially Frankie because Matt wanted to wait tell her on their family vacation. One day while Frankie, Anna, Matt were all in the car together, Matt’s heart failed and they crashed killing Matt and he died before he could ever tell Frankie the truth about his and Anna’s relationship.

There were times when I was so sad and could feel Anna’s loss so much that I had a hard time reading it. I could not believe how hard I was cried after Matt died (especially because the guy was alive for less than 20 pages). But I fell in love with Matt and even more so as Anna reminisced about him throughout the book. I already take the feelings characters have on a personal level and the author wrote with such clarity and accuracy of the description of Anna’s feelings about losing Matt, that I could feel it in every part of me. This goes to show the honest, realistic, and deep nature of the author’s skill and gift of writing. I think the hardest books for me to read are those where someone loses the person they are in love with because you do not just lose them but the possibility of love with that person and essentially a future with them. When we lose the possibility of a future with someone that changes both us and the way we live because that forces you to imagine a different life.

I was somewhat disappointed that Anna slept with Sam which did not have to do so much with the sex part as it had to do with who she did it with. I felt Anna’s feelings for Sam paled in comparison to her feelings for Matt and the relationship she and Matt had which was so much deeper and based on so much more. This probably comes from my feelings that losing your virginity is not just something you do to get it over and done with and certainly should not be done with just anyone. I believe that is a special moment and should be reserved for someone you not only like, but love with everything that you are because you are essentially giving up a part of yourself and it should be given to someone who deserves it.

While sad books are not my favorite I have to say this was very well done and I love the author’s writing style. I can’t wait to see what this author puts out next because I am sure it will be just as good. Great book!